![]() | |
![]() | |
![]() |
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
![]() |
Marriage Counseling Advice: Give Your Spouse Space to Breathe and Grow
When you're married, the boundaries between yourself and your spouse aren't always clear. For some people, marriage brings the expectation of spending as much time as possible with a spouse and doing most things together. In this model of marriage, the two people generally function as a single unit in thought and actions. In other cases, individuals may not have learned healthy boundaries as children, and they may have been exposed to negative control on the part of adults in their life. In her book Facing Codependence, Pia Melody lists negative control as one of the secondary symptoms of codependence that affects your relationships with others. She defines negative control as giving yourself permission to determine someone else's reality for your own comfort. According to Melody, negative control "happens whenever I give myself permission to determine for another person what he or she should look like (including dress and body size), or think, feel, and do or not dol" There is also a flip side to negative control, which is "allowing someone else to control me." Melody continues by stating, "Whenever I fail to determine for myself what I look like, what I think, what I feel, and what I do or don't do, and allow someone else to control any of those things for me, I am participating in negative control." When you do not have healthy, distinct personal boundaries, you may try to change your spouse to be more like you want him/her to be to meet your needs and expectations. In so doing, you are dishonoring your partner and are not respecting his/her unique individuality and right to make choices. You are also failing to provide protected space so that your spouse's individual growth and potential can flourish. Couples who do everything together miss putting important spaces in their togetherness so that new, separate growth can occur. Without new growth and fresh input from each person, a relationship can stagnate and lack vitality. It's important for each spouse to have some time alone to pursue individual interests or enjoy being in solitude. Anne Morrow Lindberg, in her classic book, Gift from the Sea, states that "Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude." Solitude and time to "just be" can help each partner replenish energy and a sense of well-being. Kahlil Gibran's words about marriage in The Prophet have been quoted often through the years, but they keep their wisdom and meaning: "...let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you." He continues by saying, "...And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow." When you crowd your partner and don't give him or her breathing room, you run the risk of smothering the very relationship that is most important to you. Enjoy your togetherness, but also honor your individuality. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES: Rita Ora Reveals Her Sparkling Emerald and Gold Wedding Ring from Marriage to Taika Waititi Yahoo Entertainment Portia de Rossi Surprises Wife Ellen DeGeneres with Vow Renewal (and Rewears Her Wedding Dress!) PEOPLE Clark County Clerk Opens Pop-Up Marriage License Office at Airport ... Clark County, NV (.gov) An Enduring Commitment, Wedding Ring or Not The New York Times Hugines celebrate 50 years of marriage Walterboro Live Wedding in a field, dancing in a barn, memories forever Hometown Focus They married at a hospital chapel, days before the groom's triple ... American Heart Association News Whitehall historic home is holding micro weddings in February Courier Journal Kiara Advani and Sidharth Malhotra: Everything we know about their alleged wedding, so far VOGUE India Barberton judge seeks couple willing to take the plunge at Portage ... Akron Beacon Journal Blue and White Summer Country Club Wedding in Columbus Columbus Monthly Dubai to allow Las Vegas-style express weddings: Report Arabian Business Civil Service couple set example with ‘quiet’ wedding, sponsor orphans’ education The Indian Express Marilee Fiebig Spotted Without Wedding Ring Amid T.J. Holmes Divorce, Amy Robach Drama Yahoo Entertainment I'm Getting Married! But How Can I Afford the Wedding? Yahoo Finance Married At First Sight shock twist: Groom Dan Hunjas now dating busty wedding guest with GG breasts Daily Mail ‘Forced marriage is painful’: bride’s wedding breakdown in China goes viral South China Morning Post With Their Wedding, a Place of Pain Becomes a Site of Love The New York Times Dear Abby: Marriage teeters months after wedding Detroit News Sidharth Malhotra dances with bride at Delhi wedding, shyly changes subject when asked about his marriage with Kiara Advani. Watch The Indian Express KL Rahul-Athiya Shetty Marriage: Wedding Venue, Guest List & Everything You Need To Know CricketTimes.com Brain Teaser For IQ Test: Can you guess who is married in the group within 10 seconds? - Jagran Josh Assam Police arrests 2044 in crackdown against child marriage; faces protest by women The Siasat Daily Jennifer Lopez Lists Bel Air Mansion for $42.5 Million After Marriage to Ben Affleck — See Inside! Yahoo Entertainment Athiya Shetty, KL Rahul UNSEEN pics from wedding is all about love, fun and 'Kacchi Kairi' Times Now Shreya Ghoshal's Brother Gets Married In A Spectacular 'Two States Wedding', Bride Looks Prettiest BollywoodShaadis.com Hrithik Roshan And Saba Azad's Marriage: Couple Going To Get Married In A Secret Wedding In 2023 BollywoodShaadis.com Marriage, a baby and accolades for Larrita Royal Gazette The President and First Lady Announce the Marriage of their ... The White House How Couples Are Incorporating Pickeball Into Their Weddings The New York Times After a First Date at Popeyes, Marriage Was on the Menu The New York Times Rainbow Wedding Network Expo attendees celebrate passing of 'Respect for Marriage Act' by Senate 12news.com KPNX Your dream wedding might not be legal – time to update England's old-fashioned marriage laws The Conversation Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act. It's not without its ... Pennsylvania Capital-Star The Best Wedding Planning Tips for Older Couples or Second ... Katie Couric Media Supreme Court Hears Arguments on Whether Wedding Website ... Ogletree Deakins 'Still Growing Together,' a Teenage Crush Leads to Marriage The New York Times Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Wed in Las Vegas The New York Times New Services Allow a ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’ Approach to Weddings The New York Times |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
RELATED ARTICLES
How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round or posy, and hand-tied. Anniversary Gift Guide An anniversary gift is the opportunity to show your loved one precisely how much they mean to you and how special you think they are.The list at the bottom of this post shows the traditional anniversary gifts for each of the major wedding anniversaries. Honeymoon Registries: A Guide to Asking for Your Honeymoon as a Wedding Gift Is the cost of your wedding putting the honeymoon of your dreams out of reach? Not to worry; if you already have all the kitchenware and bedding you need, and if you have generous friends and family, your problem might be solved by setting up a honeymoon registry.A honeymoon registry is much like a wedding registry. Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3 Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 - Typical Components". If not, I would highly recommend reviewing that article first. Beach Wedding Cakes Looking for beach theme wedding cake ideas?When it comes to wedding cakes, long gone are the days of following tradition. Since you are considering a beach theme wedding cake, you are obviously not a slave to those traditions. Creating A Prenuptial Agreement Embarking upon a marriage is a wonderful time in life - emotions are running high and you have great optimism about the future you will build together. The last thing you want to do is jeopardize your love by discussing mundane things like who brings home the bacon, who cooks it and who cleans up after. Fifteen Fabulous Favors The possibilities are endless when it comes to creating (or choosing) wedding favors. Take a look at the list below for fifteen fabulous ideas. Let Your Wedding Flowers Speak the Language of Love Congratulations! You have found the man of your dreams and are getting married. What a wonderful time in your life - full of promise, hope, and happiness. Budget Tips For Your Wedding Reception Wedding receptions are expensive affairs and can set you back a pretty penny. However, most brides have their heart set on an all out wedding reception. Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good men-often his brothers, college buddies, and best friends-to carry out all of the responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has picked his team, he'll have to give them a few pointers on just what their roles and responsibilities are, so here's the lowdown. Planning your Weddings Decoration Budget When it comes to your decorating budget it really depends on where the ceremony and reception will be on what decorations need to be present as well as what if any; themes that you are choosing.For example, if you are planning an indoor dinner, you have to include centerpieces etc. How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. The Key to the Perfect Wedding There are many answers to this question, it all depends on who you ask. We all dream about our perfect wedding but each of us may hold a different view of what makes it perfect. Wedding Day Savings A little strategizing can go a long way when trying to cut down on spending for the big day. Invitations, flowers, and music can cost a small fortune but by making some adjustments to these elements you can have an elegant wedding without breaking the bank. Mens Diamond Rings - The Ultimate Wedding Ring For The Modern Man Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with the modern man. As more men celebrate their marriage by the wearing of a wedding ring, mens diamond rings are fast becoming the new mens fashion. Keeping A Marriage Romantic My belief is that most relationship problems should be given less attention .. 5 Tips To Keep Marital Bliss Alive After You Retire! Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition for spouses. Ample free time and drastic lifestyle changes can be a burden or a blessing for your marriage. Wedding Dresses - How to Buy Dreamy Wedding Gowns Online Wedding dresses are literally the icing on the cake on every bride's wedding day. You can find perfect wedding gowns online, or simply brainstorm which style of wedding dresses to start looking for as you narrow down your search. Unique Wedding Reception Entertainment The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and background music is fine for some people, but all kinds of options exist to spice it up a bit and provide a celebration that everyone is sure to remember for years to come.Before planning any of the following wedding reception entertainment ideas, please take this short bit of advice: discuss it first. Unique Beach Wedding Themes If you are considering a beach wedding, the ideas are as endless as your imagination!One thing about choosing a beach wedding theme is that it allows you total creative freedom. Depending on the time of day, the beach can set the mood. ![]() |
home | site map |
© 2006 |