28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage (Short Shots On Living An Exceptional Life)

In my opinion, these things matter...

1. Valuing commitment over instant pleasure and faithfulnessbeyond short term displeasure.

2. Telling less than I feel for the purpose of learningmore than I know.

3. Choosing to have mutual conflict become the playingfield where we celebrate victory as opposed to the battlefield where the only winners are division and discord.

4. Delighting in the dream of another -- not necessarilybecause I share the dream but because I'm in love with theone who owns it.

5. Appreciating what I do well in the face of what theother does better -- and doing so without downplayingeither.

6. Calling it a night before calling it off.

7. Reinforcing habits that heal and breaking habits thatmake healing necessary.

8. Misplacing grudges more often and finding praises moreoften than not.

9. Making honor a way of seeing,
10. Gratefulness a way of speaking,
11. Listening with the heart a way of hearing,
12. And responding in self-control a way of emoting.

13. Striving to win as a team instead of simply striving towin.

14. Saying "I love you" more often -- without saying it.

15. Keeping a better score of what was done right than whatwasn't done "as right as I would like."

16. Misplacing "You should have" more and finding "I'm gladyou did" more often.

17. Developing and maintaining our own mutual admirationsociety.

18. Helping when I can,
19. Stopping when I should,
20. And listening a whole lot in between.

21. Speaking truth without a hurtful agenda and laying asideconflicting agendas for the sake of loving in truth.

22. Hating the word "betrayed" and choosing to join forcesin waging a war against all it represents.

23. Loving for all the relationship is worth -- because itreally is worth it all.

24. Working hard at words that work well instead of makingit hard because "working hard at the relationship" is not inmy vocabulary.

25. Realizing that forgiveness doesn't automatically makeeverything right -- it simply creates a more solidfoundationfor the remainder of the journey.

26. Learning how to laugh, cry, struggle, shout, pout,fight, celebrate and rejoice as a couple that cares asopposed to one that cares not at all.

27. Realizing there is no such thing as a "50/50"relationship in marriage. It's a "110/110" deal. We giveour all -- and then some -- in order to make it all workout.

28. Choosing to make laughter, encouragement, joy, andmutual expressions of love permanent residents in our homeinstead of guests we hope will some day arrive.

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