![]() | |
![]() | |
![]() |
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
![]() |
Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony
The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It's actually very straightforward. The "behind the scenes" part is the constant work that's required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings don't accumulate. Spouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, such as remembering to show affection and appreciation frequently. They know that the more they feel connected and bonded, the more motivated they will be to resolve problems and hang in there when things are difficult. The following eight steps will guide you in looking at what you can do to increase your chances for creating a happy, harmonious marriage: 1. Work on yourself and your own issues that you brought with you into the marriage. Many responses that you have to your spouse's actions are triggered by past events going back to your childhood. If one of your emotional wounds is feeling disrespected, then when your partner inadvertently does something that triggers those feelings, you'll experience an intense reaction. Individual counseling can help you to be more self-aware of what's behind your intense reactions and what you can do so that you don't over-react to issues in your marriage. 2. Avoid blaming your partner for problems in the marriage. Blame only causes the other person to become defensive and angry, and it decreases the probability that the two of you can find a win-win solution to your problems. When you focus on blaming your spouse for what's happening in the marriage, you are planting seeds of resentment that can hurt the relationship. A marriage is composed of two people, and each contributes to the quality of the relationship and shares responsibility for it. 3. Be empathetic and put yourself in your partner's place when issues come up. Really try to understand where your partner is coming from when you disagree or when your partner does something that you can't make sense of. Ask your spouse to talk about his or her feelings. Listen respectfully and ask your spouse to clarify points that you don't understand. Develop a curiosity for learning more about your spouse's feelings and take special care to create an emotionally safe environment for the discussions with your spouse. 4. Look for ways to make your partner's life easier and to show your love. Many of the irritants and stressors in modern day life are the little things---the extra time it takes to pick up the cleaning on the way home from work or to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. When you see some errand or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it. Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes to relax or have downtime. Watch for things you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It's often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction. 5. Express appreciation often and say form the habit of saying "thank you." As months and years go by, many spouses take each other for granted and neglect to express appreciation or say "thank you" to each other. Numerous spouses complain that their partners only focus on what they do wrong and never compliment them. It's sad to think that the one person who means the most to you might have to wonder whether or not you appreciate them. Let your spouse know how much he or she means to you on a frequent basis. Give compliments and praise freely, and express thanks for all that your partner does to enrich your life and marriage. 6. Apologize quickly and sincerely, taking responsibility for your part in whatever happens in the marriage. The truth is that sometimes it's hard to say "I'm sorry." That's when it's time to remember the question, "Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?" Accept that things don't always make sense in a relationship and that confusion and misunderstandings can happen easily. It's a mark of maturity when you can say, "I'm so sorry for my part in what has happened between us." 7. Have interests, hobbies and activities in your life that you enjoy so you're not thrown off center so easily if you have a tiff or quarrel with your spouse. It's important to have interests and activities of your own that are satisfying to you that can help to keep you balanced and anchored if other areas of your life are upsetting. That way, you can more easily regain a sense of perspective and be able to withstand the on-going stress. For example, if you and your spouse are encountering some rocks along the relationship path, you could go on a long bike ride, go fishing with a friend, visit a museum, or read an interesting book. Those activities and interests can add pleasure to your life to help balance out the temporary problems in your marriage. You're always ahead of the game when you know some ways to lift your spirits. 8. Look for fun activities and bonding experiences to share with your mate. Be on the lookout for activities that could be fun for you and your spouse to do together. Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits, neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants that are advertised. Laughter and having fun is bonding and can help to create those "Kodak moments" that are so delightful. Also look for activities that represent causes you and your spouse believe in, such as spending a Saturday helping a local charity with a garage sale or volunteering together at a local soup kitchen. These experiences can serve to remind you of what you have in common with your spouse and of how good it feels to be working in unison with a shared purpose. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES: Abigail Breslin announces she married her longtime love Ira Kunyansky and shows off her wedding ring Daily Mail Rita Ora Officially Confirms She's Married to Taika Waititi, Shares Video for 'You Only Love Me' PEOPLE ‘Like going to hell’: more young Chinese are falling out of love with tying the knot South China Morning Post Clark County Clerk Opens Pop-Up Marriage License Office at Airport ... Clark County, NV (.gov) Post-wedding Blues: Can Getting Married Cause Depression ... Healthnews.com Leon County Clerk of Courts to host wedding ceremonies on Valentine's Day WTXL ABC 27 Tallahassee News The 11 Shortest Celebrity Marriages You Forgot About L'Officiel USA Miranda Lambert Shows Off Her New Wedding Ring Taste of Country I'm Getting Married! But How Can I Afford the Wedding? Yahoo Finance On the Fifth Try, a First Date to Remember The New York Times With Their Wedding, a Place of Pain Becomes a Site of Love The New York Times Athiya Shetty-KL Rahul Post Wedding Pics: "We Got Married In The Home That's Given Us Immense Joy" NDTV ‘Forced marriage is painful’: bride’s wedding breakdown in China goes viral South China Morning Post This young American couple had Scotland’s first-ever queer Jewish wedding The Times of Israel ‘Maagha’ starts, good days for wedding industry in Andhra Pradesh The New Indian Express The benefits of getting a pre-nup before your wedding Great British Life Sidharth Malhotra dances with bride at Delhi wedding, shyly changes subject when asked about his marriage with Kiara Advani. Watch The Indian Express Watch: Masaba Gupta And Satyadeep Misra's 3-Tier Wedding Cake Was All Things Royal And Elegant NDTV Food Uttar Pradesh: Bride calls off wedding as groom enters her room repeatedly before marriage in Kanpur APN Live Hrithik Roshan And Saba Azad's Marriage: Couple Going To Get Married In A Secret Wedding In 2023 BollywoodShaadis.com Five Marriage Laws New Kenyan Couples Should Know Kenyans.co.ke The President and First Lady Announce the Marriage of their ... The White House How Couples Are Incorporating Pickeball Into Their Weddings The New York Times After a First Date at Popeyes, Marriage Was on the Menu The New York Times Your dream wedding might not be legal – time to update England's old-fashioned marriage laws The Conversation Supreme Court Hears Arguments on Whether Wedding Website ... Ogletree Deakins The Best Wedding Planning Tips for Older Couples or Second ... Katie Couric Media Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act. It's not without its ... Pennsylvania Capital-Star ‘Still Growing Together,’ a Teenage Crush Leads to Marriage The New York Times New Services Allow a ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’ Approach to Weddings The New York Times Tradition Was Never Their Thing. Why Start With a Wedding? The New York Times The Branded Marriage of Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker The New York Times Grand Rapids wedding venue owners who say they won’t host LGBTQ marriage events get civil infraction MLive.com |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
RELATED ARTICLES
Marriage Counseling: What Do Husbands Really Want in a Wife? Because many men do not discuss feelings as easily as most women do, wives are often shocked when their husband actually voices his desire to separate or divorce. They might have suspected that their spouse wasn't entirely happy, but they didn't think he'd ever be the one to end the marriage. Caricature Entertainment: A Surefire Way to Liven Up Your Wedding Celebration Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and be remembered.If you've never seen caricatures drawn at an event, you'll be amazed when you see how popular they are with guests. Choosing a Wedding Date -- When You're Feeling Indecisive He - or she - asked, and you answered in the affirmative! Now's the time to bask in the romance, and enjoy the first phase of your new life together. But soon, you'll need a response for that timeless question: "when's the wedding?"For some couples, it's easy - they know just when they want to tie the knot. Is Conflict Healthy in Marriage? Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another". All You Ever Wanted to Know About Wedding Officiants Tracking down a wedding officiant can be a little intimidating. Perhaps you remember a time when it was hard to get one if you weren't among the "regularly churched"! But times have changed, and hiring an officiant for your wedding is now standard procedure. Basic Tips for Planning a Wedding Planning a wedding should be fun and exciting. However, if you don't do the proper research and stay within your budget things can go bad in a hurry. 50th Wedding Anniversary Gift Ideas A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples wish to reach. What can you possibly give a couple after 50 years of marriage? The most meaningful wedding anniversary gift is one that comes from the heart: to express your love and appreciation towards all that they mean to you, how their staying married through the thick and thin of life has influenced you, to tell about the warm and loving memories you shared with them throughout the years. Prenuptial Agreements: The Deal Breaker? So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe somebody has mentioned a Prenuptial Agreement (Prenupt) or maybe you've never thought of it before. Regardless, just as you're an educated consumer you might also want to take a look at the advantages of having a prenuptual agreement before leaping into marriage. Planning Your Honeymoon -- 6 Tips To Help The groom traditionally plans the honeymoon. However, most brides prefer to be in on the honeymoon plans so that they can prepare ahead too. Considering Success in Marriage Your success in marriage depends largely upon having sound and constructive attitudes toward love. For Americans, this can be difficult. Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy marriage is to remember to breathe deeply. Are you surprised by this recommendation? You're probably not the only one. Mattresses and Marriage - a Match Made in Heaven Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important to all of us, even the honeymooners. Planning a Special Wedding Shower The wedding shower is a traditional party of the marriage process. Often times the bridal party, or the people who have been asked to be in the wedding, will through the party for the couple. To Stay Married, Keep Dating One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching my young daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeing them perform in the school talent show. No, my happiest recollection was the date my husband and I went out on one stormy Tuesday night in November. Wedding Favors Your Wedding Favors are a little bit of your wedding that your guests get to take away with them.What to hand out? What says my wedding? Is it sugared almonds or posies of flowers? These days the sky is the limit when it comes to Wedding Favors. The Enigma of Daytime Bachelor Party Activities As most of you know the evening festivities for a bachelor party are already pre-determined. They usually involve some combination of limos, nightclubs, and gentlemen's clubs. How To Keep Love Alive In Your Marriage In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have a life of its own. Without much effort, you feel like you are on top of the world. Wedding Planning: Benefits of Online Wedding RSVPs Want to manage your wedding guests with style and ease? Forget about multiple checklists and trying to decipher the illegible handwriting sent in by your wedding guests. The days of sorting through scattered mail-back response cards and calculating, then recalculating your guest counts are gone. Can a Marital Separation Ever Save a Marriage? As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I'm asked frequently is, "Can a marital separation ever save a marriage?" My answer is a qualified "yes."Sometimes a couple is miserable living together and can't seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. Saving Money on Photography for Your Wedding Weddings are momentous occasions to all people involved; especially the families of the bride and groom. One very important aspect of a wedding is to commemorate the event with beautiful pictures so that the day never really disappears. ![]() |
home | site map |
© 2006 |