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Marriage & Wedding Information |
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Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage
1) Write a mission statement: Most brides spend more time planning for their wedding day than for the marriage itself and are unprepared for what happens after the "I do." More than half of newlyweds will struggle to maintain a fraction of the friendship they now enjoy with their spouse. Lack of a realistic vision of how married life will be or a plan to help this vision manifest is the first mistake many new brides make. If you and your mate have been functioning without written objectives, you must come together and create a concise set of goals for your family unit and institute a plan of action to achieve these goals. An individual goal should never undermine or take precedence over a mutual goal. You must train yourself to think, work and play as a team. Selfish behavior is like poison to any marriage and helps to guarantee a quick demise. 2) Don't withhold sex from your mate: Married men resent when women use sex as a bargaining chip and make them feel that lovemaking is something they have to earn. Over a long period of time, this type of manipulation can prove disastrous. When you enter into matrimony you are agreeing to be solely responsible for fulfilling your husband's sexual needs, unless you are a swinger. Men have no problem separating their emotions from their physical desires, which is why they still expect hot sex after a heated argument. 3) Don't compete with the people/things that he loves: So ? you've always hated his pesky childhood friend who is constantly around or his love affair with Play Station 2, but you're holding your peace until after the big day. Huge mistake! Never wait until after the wedding to start a turf war with the things or people your husband loves. Instead, you should be making plans on how you can incorporate them into your life in a way that both you and your husband can appreciate. Perhaps his pesky best friend is talented with wood work and can help you restore a family heirloom, or maybe you can convert the bedroom into a scene from a Play Station 2, complete with interesting bonus points. Whatever you decide, remember that your husband is a grown man and not a child; you cannot choose his friends or predilections. As problems arise in your marriage, search for solutions that bring you closer together and not drive you apart. 4) Plan ahead: Small things make a big difference and will help to determine if your husband enjoys the prospect of getting out of bed and starting another day with you. What is the atmosphere in your home in the morning? Is there peace or is there confusion? Does your day begin with disorganization or is your home running like a well-constructed device. Unnecessary drama can be avoided with organization. As your marriage evolves and expands to include children or aging parents, good organizational skills will be paramount to your relationships success. Careful thought should go into the daily atmosphere within your home. It is a refuge and sanctuary for your man or a place from which to retreat? 5) Find an experienced mentor and confidant: The intimate details of your relationship with your spouse should only be shared with a trusted few. The women you meet in church are no exception to this rule. Anyone can be tempted when given enough information and ammunition. And many husbands have been led astray inside the house of the Lord. Find an older more experienced couple to mentor you and your mate. Plan a monthly activity with your mentors when possible. Don't discuss your man or marriage with your girlfriends who do not like your spouse or with your girlfriends who are angry with men in general. This almost guarantees that you will receive tainted advice. Seek out positive supporters who can encourage you. Remember that an ally builds and an adversary destroys. 6) Leave the past behind: Everyone brings a little baggage from their past relationships, but this needs to be kept to a minimum. Think travel bag and not suitcase. The past should be used only as a guide to reflect on the victories you've one, the obstacles you've overcome and the lessons you've learned amidst your failures. Do not wallow in the past or on past offences. Do not spend time obsessing on past relationships, or worse, obsessing on the past relationships of your spouse. After all, he chose you. 7) Never fake an orgasm: Why do this? Really? I'm intrigued about the type of woman who pretends her husband is getting her off when he is not. I think faking an orgasm is a cop out for those who lack the communications skills or experience necessary to convey what they really want. This is a deceitful practice and it ensures that your husband will remain at a disadvantage through the duration of your marriage. It can also cause you to have a wandering eye. If your mate does not sexually fulfill you, as you would like, find a constructive way to tell him. You should be able to convey exactly where the problem lies and how the problem can be corrected. Many women do not realize that they are putting their mates at a disadvantage if they are relying solely on his previous experience. Take time to explore your own body and be able to communicate what you have learned. If you don't know what you want, why should he? 8) Be quick to offer forgiveness: An unforgiving spirit will devastate any relationship. Mercy is not based on merit but on the condition of your heart. You either choose to extend it or you don't. Once you have offered forgiveness to your mate, never bring up his past offences in a future argument. Old wounds continually reopened can't heal. Sought-after relationship coach and motivational speaker Xxavier T. is the author of Treat Your Man Like A V.I.P.: Topless Tactics You Were Never Taught. Xxavier holds a degree in psychology from Southern University at New Orleans, but maintains that the majority of her expertise is based on the first principal of discovery ?observation. Xxavier writes a romance column for Offline Magazine that can also be accessed via the internet at http://neworleansblack.com/romance/index.php or browse Xxavier's book at http://centurionhouse.net/browse_book.htm
MORE RESOURCES: CNN's Alex Marquardt Weds Amanda McClements in 'Dreamy' Mallorca Wedding: 'A Magical Joyous Moment' PEOPLE An Enduring Commitment, Wedding Ring or Not The New York Times Rita Ora Reveals Her Sparkling Emerald and Gold Wedding Ring from Marriage to Taika Waititi Yahoo Entertainment Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence play-fight about who pays for wedding if their children marry Yahoo! Voices Portia de Rossi Surprises Wife Ellen DeGeneres with Vow Renewal (and Rewears Her Wedding Dress!) PEOPLE Married At First Sight wedding guest Samantha Symes busts out as she shows off her GG-cup cleavage Daily Mail ‘Marriage is a beautiful testament to love’: When Kiara Advani penned a note on ‘truly special wedding’ moments The Indian Express Clark County Clerk Opens Pop-Up Marriage License Office at Airport ... Clark County, NV (.gov) Kiara Advani and Sidharth Malhotra Wedding LIVE Updates: Karan Johar, Shahid Kapoor, Mira Rajput Lea Zee News A marriage of East and West: Turning wedding dreams of couples from India, abroad into reality The New Indian Express Satyadeep Misra On His Second Marriage: 'Wedding With Masaba Gupta Was Not Secretive' | EXCLUSIVE News18 Hugines celebrate 50 years of marriage Walterboro Live Whitehall historic home is holding micro weddings in February Courier Journal Married At First Sight newlyweds reveal bride's wedding dress caught on FIRE during their ceremony Daily Mail Civil Service couple set example with ‘quiet’ wedding, sponsor orphans’ education The Indian Express ‘Forced marriage is painful’: bride’s wedding breakdown in China goes viral South China Morning Post I'm Getting Married! But How Can I Afford the Wedding? Yahoo Finance Dubai to allow Las Vegas-style express weddings: Report Arabian Business Remembering When Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker Gambled on a Las Vegas Wedding After the Grammys Yahoo Entertainment Priyadarshan, Lissy's son Siddharth gets married. See viral photos | Entertainment News | Onmanorama Onmanorama Pamela Anderson’s dating history from 12 day marriage to Christmas wedding to bodyguard OK! magazine Sidharth Malhotra dances with bride at Delhi wedding, shyly changes subject when asked about his marriage with Kiara Advani. Watch The Indian Express KL Rahul-Athiya Shetty Marriage: Wedding Venue, Guest List & Everything You Need To Know CricketTimes.com Jarred Italian-Style Soups Trend Hunter Married At First Sight's Bronte Schofield flaunts her figure in a skimpy bikini at a Perth beach Daily Mail Armie Hammer FINALLY breaks silence after rape allegations in 2021: I am here to own my mistakes… Times Now The President and First Lady Announce the Marriage of their ... The White House How Couples Are Incorporating Pickeball Into Their Weddings The New York Times After a First Date at Popeyes, Marriage Was on the Menu The New York Times Your dream wedding might not be legal – time to update England's old-fashioned marriage laws The Conversation Indonesia The Best Wedding Planning Tips for Older Couples or Second ... Katie Couric Media Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act. It's not without its ... Pennsylvania Capital-Star Supreme Court Hears Arguments on Whether Wedding Website ... Ogletree Deakins Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Wed in Las Vegas The New York Times ‘Still Growing Together,’ a Teenage Crush Leads to Marriage The New York Times New Services Allow a ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’ Approach to Weddings The New York Times In step toward civil marriage, Jerusalem court accepts ‘Zoom weddings’ from Utah The Times of Israel |
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