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Marriage & Wedding Information |
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Marriage Problems: Help in Preventing Them
When we want to be successful at something in life, we usually don't attempt to "wing it." That's why those who want to play the piano take lessons. No one can sit down at a piano for the first time and play Mozart or Beethoven. Sure, most anyone can peck on the keys long enough to figure out "Chop Sticks" or "Mary Had a Little Lamb," but that's hardly musical success. An instructor will teach us what keys produce certain musical notes, what techniques to use to access those keys and how to determine musical notes from written symbols in order to play pieces of music. Once we've received basic education and training, it is up to us to practice and develop what we we've learned. After years of practicing, one can become adequate at making music with a piano. Clearly, success does not belong to a beginner. Yet we often assume that success in marriage will come without any instruction or practice. Many times, we rely on some mysterious shared chemistry or compatibility and then when things don't run smoothly, we assume that individual differences are to blame. In the sad cases, divorce lawyers entitle them, "irreconcilable differences." Usually those struggling in marriage don't question their techniques or decide they are going to start practicing with a resource or a professional. Unmarried couples usually don't seek to learn correct fundamentals and techniques to practice in their future marriage. Because of this, many people are setting themselves up for failure. Here at Family Dynamics Institute, we have helped thousands of couples rebuild broken marriages and have helped good marriages prevent problems before they could ever develop. It's takes hard work, but it is well worth it. If your marriage is in crisis, please contact us right away at 1-800-650-9995 to learn about our intensive seminar for troubled marriages. If your marriage is not in crisis but you fear it could fall into crisis, the following three points should offer some help in keeping your marriage from reaching a point distress. If your marriage is strong, the following should help you keep it that way. Things to remember and practice: 1. Marriage is a team sport. In talking to couples in crisis from around the United States, I often hear only one side of the story. The side I hear is usually one spouse blaming the other for all the problems within their marriage. "If only he'd _________." "If she wouldn't ________." I've been involved with enough couples to know that it is never completely one-sided. Sure, one spouse might share more of the guilt in hurting a marriage, like in cases of infidelity, but it is nearly impossible for one spouse to deserve all the blame. Don't expect your spouse to do all the work in your relationship. Each marriage partner has enough to work on within without attempting to change or manipulate his or her spouse. Be a team player in your marriage and your spouse will likely do the same. 2. Become your spouse's dream. When you were young, it's likely you had ideas and dreams of your relationship with your future spouse. Your spouse did as well. Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes people make in marriage relationships is to stop the courtship process. You remember that time in your life don't you? When you were polite, kind, supportive, selfless, thoughtful, attentive, forthcoming and sensitive to your spouse? You made yourself into that dream. You learned what he/she liked you to wear. You learned what bothered, scared or hurt and you avoided those things. You found out what was important to him/her and you made it important to you even if it wasn't before. Do it again! People don't leave the spouse of their dreams. You'll likely find that your spouse will do the same for you. 3. Tell people good things about your spouse. In front of him or even when he's not there (the same goes for husbands about wives). If you focus on the positives in your spouse, you will find that he/she not only does more of those positive things but also adds new positives to the list. Thank him for cutting the grass or taking out the trash. Thank her for a delicious meal and tell others that she's a great cook. Be sure to compliment him on his strong arms or intelligence in front of your friends. Tell her how beautiful you think she is. Tell him he's handsome. Not only will your spouse appreciate the compliment, but you'll find it easier to treat your spouse as you should because you will be programming yourself to respect and appreciate him or her. Marriage takes practice and work, but the rewards are for a lifetime. Remember that great marriages don't happen over night just as troubled marriages usually don't become disturbed in a few days. Start on the path to being a team player in your marriage and don't look back. © 2005 Lee Wilson. All rights reserved. Lee Wilson is on staff at Family Dynamics Institute. Family Dynamics attempts to prevent marriage problems by helping couples who are already in troubled marriages and by teaching those in good marriages to prevent major issues before they happen. Lee combats marriage problems from another angle with his web site for Christian singles by helping them find compatibility in possible marriage candidates. Lee hopes that his efforts will help to decrease the divorce rate around the world.
MORE RESOURCES: Total Bellas Star Nikki Bella Says Dress She Wore To Marry Artem Chigvintsev Was Originally Purchased For John Cena Wedding Yahoo! Voices ‘Like going to hell’: more young Chinese are falling out of love with tying the knot South China Morning Post Here’s Everything We Know About Marc Anthony & Nadia Ferreira’s Private Wedding Ceremony Remezcla Clark County Clerk Opens Pop-Up Marriage License Office at Airport ... Clark County, NV (.gov) Valentine's Day weddings offered at the Plaza de Las Cruces and ... Las Cruces Sun-News Post-wedding Blues: Can Getting Married Cause Depression ... Healthnews.com Who What Wear Weddings: Kat Collings and Zac Wolf Who What Wear Sydney marriage celebrant Meggan Brummer recovers beachgoer's wedding ring at the bottom of Balmoral Daily Mail Rays, city officials work towards marriage after ‘engagement’ St Pete Catalyst Song Joong Ki to hold wedding ceremony in March? Agency reacts Hindustan Times On the Fifth Try, a First Date to Remember The New York Times I'm Getting Married! But How Can I Afford the Wedding? Yahoo Finance 1000-Lb. Sisters ' Tammy Shares Rare Insight Into Marriage With Husband Caleb Yahoo Entertainment The 11 Shortest Celebrity Marriages You Forgot About L'Officiel USA With Their Wedding, a Place of Pain Becomes a Site of Love The New York Times Athiya Shetty-KL Rahul Post Wedding Pics: "We Got Married In The Home That's Given Us Immense Joy" NDTV ‘Forced marriage is painful’: bride’s wedding breakdown in China goes viral South China Morning Post Sidharth Malhotra dances with bride at Delhi wedding, shyly changes subject when asked about his marriage with Kiara Advani. Watch The Indian Express Why Second Marriages Are Even More Likely to End in Divorce Good Housekeeping Happy Fleetwood couple celebrate 73 years of marriage - and they ... Blackpool Gazette This young American couple had Scotland’s first-ever queer Jewish wedding The Times of Israel ‘Maagha’ starts, good days for wedding industry in Andhra Pradesh The New Indian Express Inside Masaba Gupta-Satyadeep Misra's Post Wedding Bash: Special Speech By Viv Richards And More NDTV Ludhiana: Maharashtra man held for stealing bag containing ₹7 lakh from reception party Hindustan Times The President and First Lady Announce the Marriage of their ... The White House How Couples Are Incorporating Pickeball Into Their Weddings The New York Times A first kiss, then marriage: Two rabbis-to-be tie the knot at a fun-filled California wedding JTA News - Jewish Telegraphic Agency After a First Date at Popeyes, Marriage Was on the Menu The New York Times Your dream wedding might not be legal – time to update England's old-fashioned marriage laws The Conversation Supreme Court Hears Arguments on Whether Wedding Website ... Ogletree Deakins The Best Wedding Planning Tips for Older Couples or Second ... Katie Couric Media Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act. It's not without its ... Pennsylvania Capital-Star ‘Still Growing Together,’ a Teenage Crush Leads to Marriage The New York Times New Services Allow a ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’ Approach to Weddings The New York Times Tradition Was Never Their Thing. Why Start With a Wedding? The New York Times |
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